A conversation with my daughter once reminded me how easily we generalize.

We were talking about her plans after high school when she announced that the Class of 2022 was “the last graduating class of its kind.”

Naturally, I needed to hear more.

According to her, the freshman and sophomores were a “different breed.”

I had to smile.

Apparently, an entire group of students had changed dramatically in the short time she had been one of them.

But her comment gave us something useful to talk about.

Everyone. Always. Never.

Three small words capable of doing a lot of exaggerating.

Who Exactly Are We Talking About?

We use generalizations because they’re convenient.

“Everyone hated it.”

“She always does that.”

“He never listens.”

Maybe there is truth underneath the statement.

But the absolute can become more powerful than the information.

I’ve seen the same thing happen at work.

Someone says:

“Everyone is upset about the change.”

That’s a statement that can get attention quickly.

Before reacting, get curious.

Who is everyone?

How many people have you spoken with?

What are they concerned about?

Did they say they were upset, or is that your interpretation?

A little specificity can completely change the conversation.

“Everyone is upset” might eventually become:

“Three people on my team are concerned about how the new process will affect response times.”

Now we have something we can work with.

Listen for the Abolutes

Generalizations aren’t always harmful.

Sometimes we’re exaggerating for effect. Sometimes everyone in the room really did dislike something.

The problem comes when broad language starts driving decisions.

So when you hear everyone, nobody, always or never, don’t immediately challenge the person.

Get more specific.

What happened?

Who was involved?

How often?

What did they actually say?

You may discover there is a real problem underneath the generalization.

You may also discover there isn’t nearly as much agreement as the word everyone suggested.

Either way, you’ve learned more.

And for the record, I’m pretty sure every graduating class believes the students coming behind them are a “different breed.”

Some generalizations apparently have staying power.