Years ago, I came across a question that stuck with me:

Is this helping me get what I want?

Simple question.

Uncomfortable answer sometimes.

Because we can be very clear about what we want while making choices that repeatedly take us somewhere else.

We want less stress, but say yes to everything.

We want stronger relationships, but give people whatever attention is left after everything else.

We want financial freedom, but avoid looking too closely at where the money goes.

We want a different career, but spend another year thinking about it instead of making a move.

Knowing what you want is only part of the equation.

Your choices have to know too.

The Question Works Both Ways

What I like about this question is that it isn’t asking:

Is this good or bad?

Is this productive?

Will other people approve?

It’s asking whether the choice makes sense for where you say you’re headed.

And sometimes the answer might surprise you.

Taking a day off could help.

Saying no could help.

Spending money instead of saving it could help if the experience matters more to you.

Leaving a comfortable job could help.

Staying in one could help too.

There isn’t one correct answer because there isn’t one correct destination.

Watch the Repeated Choices

One off-track day isn’t going to dismantle your life.

Patterns deserve more attention.

If you regularly say you want one thing while choosing another, get curious about the gap.

Maybe the goal isn’t yours anymore.

Maybe something else matters more.

Maybe the habit is stronger than the intention.

Or maybe what you say you want sounds good, but you’ve never decided what you’re willing to do for it.

That’s useful information.

No guilt required.

Keep the Question Close

The next time you’re making a decision, especially one you’ve made on autopilot dozens of times before, try it:

Is this helping me get what I want?

Sometimes the answer will be yes.

Sometimes no.

And sometimes you’ll realize the more important question is:

Do I still want what I thought I wanted?

That’s worth knowing too.