Many people have a hard time seeing things from another perspective.
It’s also human nature to see the negative before we see the positive.
For those who see the positive first, congratulations!
If only it stopped there.
Most things in life have three sides: An upside (positive side), a downside (negative side), and the facts.
We can correlate this to the phrase “There are three sides to a story.” My side. Your side. The Truth.
Whether you start on the negative side or positive side of the spectrum, it would be wise to use the facts as a go-between.
There are many uncertainties in life. The goal is to accept things as they are at the moment.
Acceptance does not equate to weakness, conformity, or mediocrity. It is an opportunity to exercise critical thinking to identify the three sides of a situation and how to best address it.
We all have a choice of how we respond to events in our lives. For example, if someone pays you a compliment, you can choose whether to be flattered or offended. The individual’s intent introduces the third side of the scenario.
When we hear statements like:
“Why is this happening to me?”
“This isn’t fair.”
“This can’t be true.”
“It shouldn’t be this way.”
“Story of my life.”
Someone’s perception or expectation is not meeting reality. What are your options at that moment? As the late Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
We all see reality through a personal lens shaped by our beliefs, culture, religion, experiences, etc. And our perception of reality often dictates our behavior. When we refuse to allow any flexibility in our attitude, we close our minds to possibility and sometimes the truth. Self-defeating statements don’t change the situation. It only makes the experience more painful.
When you desire to perform at a certain level with someone you measure yourself against, you must first figure out how this became the best standard for you to follow and what you may have to do to get where they are.
If this person had to lie, cheat, and steal to acquire what they have, are you willing to adopt the same behaviors or identify with someone who outwardly appears to be at the same level but did so through hard work and personal integrity?
They may both be packaged differently in perception, but one worked smarter in the long run and the other in a way that will have them looking over their shoulder for years to come.
Whatever choice you make, be sure to consider the long term effects of the standards you set for yourself. Accomplishing a feat in the wrong way can set you up for future failure.