The Story I’m Telling Myself

There is a magic sentence resilient people have in common: “It’s the story I’m telling myself.” 

When something challenging happens to us, our brain, which is wired to protect us above all else, wants a story.

It understands story and narrative pattern and it says, “Give me a story so I can understand how to protect you.” And so….we make up these stories in our minds.

How can we be loved if we can’t let ourselves be seen (vulnerability).

We want it so bad, but we are so afraid to let ourselves be seen, and we’re so afraid to see people.

Vulnerability brings love, belonging, and joy.

The opposite of belonging is fitting in (acclimating). True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are.

Joy is the most vulnerable of all human emotions. We are so afraid that if we feel joy, something will come along and rip it away from us, and we will get sucker punched by pain, trauma, and loss. So in the midst of great things, we dress rehearse great tragedy.

Some people use vulnerability as a warning to start dress-rehearsing for bad things. Some of us use it as a reminder to be grateful.

Gratitude is the differentiator for joy. Which one will you choose?

Adapted from Brene Brown.
Graphic: raminnazer

Sex

Sex is often undervalued because it comes easily and frequently. Whether one has sex for money or pure pleasure, this form of exploitation treats sex as an isolated physical act rather than an act of commitment to another. It erodes a person’s ability to love and often degrades others by turning them into physical objects. When you choose to have uncommitted sex, you confuse and tear down the climate of respect, trust, and credibility that is necessary to develop a healthy relationship.

We live in a world filled with suggestions to commit immorality. However, sexual immorality threatens family life, leaving spouses devastated, children scarred, and partners themselves unable to build healthy relationships. Even if one escapes sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies, someone always ends up getting hurt as a result. The mark of a real man and woman is self-control.

Love

Love is one of the most desirable things in life, the most natural and readily available. Everyone wants love, but many don’t know how to give it.

To love others, you must first love yourself. Not loving yourself makes it difficult for others to love you.

Our ability to love is often shaped by our experience of love and dictates how we live.

Many people have learned how to pretend to love – how to speak kindly, avoid hurting feelings, and appear to take an interest.

Authentic love not only requires our concentration and effort, it demands our time and personal involvement.