Tag: Consulting

Uncertainty

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I, like many others, have had to regroup from the changes that 2020 has brought about. Finding ways to balance the unpredictability of my career and the “new normal” called chaos is not for the faint of heart. Despite the challenges, I realize that inaction is a waste of time and will get you nowhere fast.

When we overanalyze and fight for never-changing security, we stop experiencing the full array of choices life has to offer during our journey. Many of us have an obsessive desire to know what is happening now and what tomorrow will bring. Wondering what the future holds is a tough question at any age. Instead of trying to figure it all out, get comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty.

There is an ancient Japanese Philosophy called Wabi-Sabi. It is a mindset that embraces the unpredictability of life, and it teaches us to celebrate the way things are instead of how it should be.

Life is unpredictable. And that’s okay. Embrace it. When nothing is certain, everything is possible! Our plans for tomorrow, next month, or next year may not unfold as we expect. But it is imperative to take action and keep moving forward.

Illustration: The Ready

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Food For Thought Friday

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💡 The only thing we can count on is what we do today.

💡 If you think there is only one way to do something, you lose.

💡 Your greatest accomplishment may be helping people accomplish great things.

💡 Your greatest failure may be preventing others from achieving greatness.

💡 Your inner attitude does not have to reflect your outward circumstance.

💡 Patience is the hardest when we need it the most.

💡 The most extraordinary experience you will ever have involves you.

💡 Leadership is a way of being, not just something we do.

💡 You cannot learn from a mistake you do not acknowledge making.

💡 What would you do in a world with no constraints?

Leader or Follower

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A common misconception is that you are either a leader or a follower. The reality is that we all lead in some way (influence) and we all follow something or someone (religion, etc.).

Operationally, you will always have someone to report to, no matter where you are in the food chain. Corporate culture is pretty straightforward: entry-level employees reports to a supervisor, supervisors reports to a manager, managers reports to an executive, executives reports to a senior executive, and the CEO reports to the board or other key stakeholders.

In our effort to master the skills of leadership, we tend to lose sight that there is more to the leadership equation. For leaders to lead, they need exceptional talent and the ability to attract followers. They also need to master the art of humbly following others.

Being a good follower teaches us how to value the contributions others make, as well as develop our emotional intelligence. It doesn’t matter how many followers we have. We still share the same vulnerabilities, shortcomings, and struggles as other human beings.

Many leaders could accomplish more if they became aware of their need for personal growth and development for themselves and others. “He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” Aristotle

Knowledge vs. Experience

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The internet provides us with vasts amounts of information, but does it help us truly understand? Information overload doesn’t result in more wisdom. If anything, the opposite occurs – information without the proper context and interpretation only muddles our understanding.

There’s a difference between knowledge and experience. Obtaining knowledge requires some sensory input: reading, watching, listening, and touching. In contrast, experience comes with time, exposure, and practice.

For example, we may recognize a written language just by looking at the characters, but we will not understand it unless we take time to study it and put it to use.

We may also know something intellectually, but our intuitive thoughts, feelings, and emotions can cloud our understanding and shortchange our experience.

Chinese philosopher Confucius sums it up well: “I hear, and I forget. I see, and I remember. I do, and I understand.”

Illustration: Hugh MacLeod / Gapingvoid

Personality

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Human behavior can prove to be a mystery which is one of many reasons that personality assessments are becoming increasingly commonplace. If you’ve ever taken one, you may have been surprised by some of its findings. While these instruments are helpful, they are not a perfect science.

Issues with personality testing arise when companies use them to

👎 Deny employment.

👎 Deny promotions.

👎 Label others as one thing or another.

👎 Excuse unbecoming behavior.

👎 Measure the skill set of others.

Today’s workforce is experiencing a shift in identities. Not only is it one of the most diverse in our nation’s history, but it is also causing us to rethink the effectiveness of different types of assessments as it relates to unconscious bias, a multi-generational workforce, and new social norms.

The results of an assessment should not overpower proven results, verified references, and years of successful experience. Assessments provide us useful information, not make us bad people. Someone with an outgoing personality doesn’t mean they’re going to be best suited in sales. An introvert may be just as successful because they’re generally more inclined to listen – which is a critical trait in sales.

It’s worth noting that assessments have their place in organizational management. They offer a framework for helping us understand more about others, how we approach certain situations, and our preferred management style.

For example, the DISC model represents:

➩ Dominance (Red) – How you respond to problems and challenges.

➩ Influence (Yellow) – How you influence others to your point of view.

➩ Steadiness (Green) – How you respond to the pace of the environment.

➩ Compliance (Blue) – How you respond to rules and procedures set by others.


How could you benefit from better understanding your behavioral preference and its impact on others?

Ambition

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Ambition is a mighty quality that motivates us to reach beyond what is considered possible. Whether we recognize it or not, many people are quietly ambitious. Some have internal ambition where they strive for personal success (e.g., entrepreneurship), and others are externally focused, where they strive for collective success (e.g., organizational growth).

While ambition has its ugly side, it is an essential ingredient for success. To better understand the nature of your desire, ask yourself:

1. Purpose. What is the motivation behind what you desire to achieve? E.g., Money, power, honor, helping others)

2. Vision. What do you aspire to achieve within a reasonable time frame?

3. Metrics. How will you measure how you are progressing towards your vision?

4. Priorities. What actions will you take in pursuit of your vision?

5. Promise. How will you hold yourself accountable?

6. Values. What guiding principles dictate how you accomplish your vision in good times and bad?

7. Behaviors. How will you act day-to-day and in the long-term to implement your vision and live up to your values?

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 Where you are today is a direct result of a decision you have or have not made.

💡 Don’t be an “if” thinker. Be a “how” thinker.

💡 Honesty provides others freedom of choice.

💡 Is the source of the problem internal or external?

💡 How you see yourself is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

💡 Naysayers are good at what they do and never cease at their work.

💡 Wanting to make everyone happy is a setup for disappointment.

💡 There is no timeline as to when you should have everything figured out in life.

💡 You don’t need a prestigious title to perform a significant role.

💡 Where there is ignorance, society does not advance.

Life Lessons Continued

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Part 2 of 2: Practical lessons that stand the test of time. What lessons can you add to the list?

16. The more you know, the less you fear.

17. Don’t let weeds grow around your dreams.

18. Think twice before deciding not to charge for your work. People often have less value for something given to them for free.

19. Remember that ignorance is expensive.

20. When declaring your rights, don’t forget your responsibilities.

21. Everyone you meet wears an invisible sign that reads “see me” and “hear me.”

22. Life’s changes rarely give warning.

23. Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what your heart desires.

24. Every age brings new opportunities.

25. Never underestimate the influence of the people you have allowed in your life.

26. Stand out from the crowd.

27. Don’t expect different results from the same behavior.

28. Question your prejudices.

29. See detours as an opportunity to experience new things.

30. Don’t live with the brakes engaged.


Adapted from Life’s Little Instruction Book

Life Lessons

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With so many shifts happening throughout the world, there are some things that withstand the test of time: Life’s Lessons. What lessons can you add to the list? Part 1 of 2.

1. Choose work that is in harmony with your values.
2. Commit yourself to constant self-improvement.
3. Don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
4. Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health, and love.
5. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
6. Seek opportunity, not security. A boat in a harbor is safe, but in time, it’s bottom will rotten out.
7. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
8. Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
9. Start meetings on time regardless of who’s missing.
10. Improve your performance by improving your attitude.
11. Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them.
12. Do not expect others to listen to your advice and ignore your example
13. Do the right thing, regardless of what others think.
14. Give as much attention to what is positive in your life as you do the challenges.
15. Don’t dismiss a good idea simply because you don’t like the source.


Adapted from Life’s Little Instruction Book

Delegation Gone Wrong

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There is an assumption that delegating is simply turning something over to someone else and suddenly being free from that responsibility. Delegation is not about dumping tasks on others. There is an art to it. Here are nine delegation mindsets to avoid.

1. Being too possessive.

“This is my baby” “I’m the most qualified person for this task” and “He/She doesn’t take it as seriously as I do.”, are some of the countless arguments for avoiding delegation. For managers, this attitude is especially harmful as they get trapped in their day-to-day business, losing time for strategic thinking or other issues. Transferring relevant tasks saves time and motivates teams to deliver excellent work.

Delegating is sometimes letting go of the idea of perfection. The thought that when you do it yourself, it will be better quality and get delivered faster, does not help your team grow.

2. Overwhelming people.

Take care not to delegate tasks that employees are over- or under-qualified to do. Challenging employees is motivating, but projects that overwhelm them make little sense. On the other hand, it’s okay to assign a task to someone overqualified from time to time. However, if it happens too often, it will be demotivating. Consider delegating to the person who’ll provide the best result or who wants to develop skills for the future. If you’re unsure who best meets these criteria, ask.

Dare to delegate the tasks employee likes to do. The return on learning is more rewarding when employees discover for themselves what they’re good at, instead of you telling them upfront. You might be surprised to uncover some hidden talents in your team.

3. Not officially responsible.

Once you’ve given someone responsibility or authority for a new project, everyone else should be made aware. Only then can employees act with determination. Letting them know they have your support, provides them the confidence to perform the task.

4. Unclear definition of a project.

When employees don’t know the objective or the framework of the assignment, it will be difficult for them to be efficient. Provide as much information as possible and agree on a schedule. Not all employees will tell you when there is a lack of clarity, so it may be helpful to ask what their next steps will be. Never send a task by email, post-it note, etc.

Delegating means setting clear goals and granting a flexible path to achieve those goals.

5. Constant meddling.

It can be challenging relinquishing control of a task. Refrain from micro-managing and expecting the job to be completed in the same manner you would do it. Otherwise, it shows a lack of trust and the ability to achieve good results.

6. Lack of positive control.

Although employees should work autonomously, the final responsibility is yours. Establish milestones for the project to ensure they’re advancing with the assignment and offer help to remove any obstacles.

A positive control is only possible with a clear briefing, set expectations, and SMART goals.

7. Passing on unpleasant activities.

Don’t fall into the trap of only passing on unpleasant tasks. Doing so gives the impression that you want to avoid grunt work. As a result, employees will feel misused because the transfer of small jobs implies that “Your working time is less valuable than mine.”

8. Waiting until the last minute.

The “I can do it myself” attitude can backfire when closing in on a deadline. Now you need help and risk abusing someone else’s time. When we rush through a task, we risk the quality of the finished product. Last-minute delegation creates frustration and is demotivating. Delegating tasks in advance allows employees to prepare.

9. Not giving feedback.

Don’t forget to give honest feedback when the task is complete. Feedback ensures that employees benefit and can develop skills in the future. Saying thank you also shows that you appreciate their commitment and work. These kinds of gestures make it more likely that they will want to work with you in the future.

Handling Performance Issues

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Poor performance doesn’t just happen. There’s always an underlying cause. Most commonly, it’s due to a lack of motivation, ability, or personal reasons.

Addressing poor performance is one of the most delicate and impactful conversations you’re likely to have as a leader. Although confrontation can be uncomfortable, it’s unavoidable. Otherwise, you send a message to others that the behavior is acceptable.

How do you handle performance issues in your organization?

Here’s a scenario: Daniel has worked at Happy Clients for two years. And, during this period, he’s been a tremendous asset to the team. In the past few weeks, you have observed that he has not been performing up to standards and have been late to work on several occasions. Based on the latest monthly report, Daniel is also falling short of his production goals. Team members are increasingly complaining about his cranky attitude, and he has just shown up late for work again. It’s now time for a performance meeting.

How can you prepare for the meeting to help regain Daniel’s productivity and performance in a way that is respectful and encouraging?

Here is a 10-step approach to fixing performance problems:

1. Schedule a meeting. Send a calendar invite at least three days before the meeting. Include an agenda with the invitation. This provides employees sufficient time to prepare for the meeting.

  • Tip: Consider giving employees a heads up that you will be sending a meeting invite to discuss their performance. An out of the blue performance conversation may catch them off guard.

2. Start positive. Begin the conversation by providing positive feedback to create a more comfortable and relaxed setting. Motivate with encouraging words and avoid any mention of underperformance at this stage. Emotional confrontation helps nobody.

  • Tip: Try to provide as much positive feedback as possible. This helps to create balance when providing critical feedback later in the conversation.

3. Ask for a self-assessment. Ask if they agree with your evaluation and encourage them to rate their performance. Chances are, they’ll agree with your positive feedback during this self-assessment. This helps them see things more objectively, which is a step towards acknowledging underperformance. Above all, this invites them to raise any difficulties they may be having themselves, instead of you bringing it up.

  • Tip: There is a natural tendency for people to defend themselves as soon as they feel attacked. Highlight the positive aspects of their work so they see that they are valued.

4. Address the performance issue. If they’ve acknowledged their underperformance, encourage them to shed light on its causes. If they haven’t, you will need to set the stage. Start by mentioning a few observations and then let them tell their side of the story.

  • Tip: Let them do most of the talking at this stage and refrain from presenting your assumptions.

5. Keep it professional. The subject of the conversation should be about performance and behavior, not about the person. Voice any disappointment objectively. Avoid pointing out character flaws and placing blame. Otherwise, they could see this as a personal attack.

  • Tip: Maintain objectivity and do not stray into personal territory. If personal issues come up as a reason for their underperformance, gently prod to see if they want to reveal more.

6. Focus on the facts. When addressing their underperformance, articulate yourself clearly with concrete examples and proof. Come prepared with notes or reports that demonstrate their underperformance.

  • Tip: If the issue is goals-related, have the figures ready. If they are not complying with company policy, have the guidelines on hand.

7. Paint the bigger picture. Employees may not always realize how their performance can negatively impact their team or the organization. Draw the connection. Reestablish the organization’s mission, vision, and values and how their performance helps achieve this.

  • Tip: Establish the reasons for the performance meeting, why the performance is unacceptable, and what needs to be improved.

8. Respond to reasons given. Resistance in such conversations is not uncommon. Here are some possible scenarios and how to tackle them.

  • They disagree with your views. Take a step back and remain firm in your view. Schedule a follow-up meeting in a few days to give them time to think it over and get on the same page.
  • They blow off your observations with excuses. Get them to identify the external factors that are keeping them from performing and ask if they’ll be able to perform better with these factors out of the way.
  • They defend their performance with peer-comparison. If they justify their performance by comparing themselves with others and insist they’re not doing that badly, ask them to obtain quality feedback from internal/external clients and discuss them in the next session.

9. Establish next steps. Once they acknowledge they’ve been underperforming and agree with your assessment, establish a plan for change. Ask them to identify areas where there’s room for improvement and how they aim to achieve that. Highlight that the purpose of the meeting is to find solutions, and ask how you can support them to get back on track.

  • Tip: Set concrete goals and expectations for the future. Your final agreement should leave no room for misinterpretation. Don’t be disappointed if the solutions they suggest aren’t precise enough as they may need more time to reflect. Ask questions to prompt more concrete answers.

10. Chart the progress. Fixing performance problems isn’t a one-off event. One meeting may not be sufficient to diagnose the issue, let alone remedy it, so schedule a follow-up meeting to monitor progress. This also gives them time to reflect on the conversation and return to the next session with more insight. This is all part of the performance recovery process.

  • Tip: Throughout this process, encourage them, acknowledge any improvement, and congratulate them on their progress.

Leadership 101

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I’ve spent many years in leadership roles and have had the honor of working with other leaders to enhance their effectiveness. Throughout this journey, a common theme has emerged. Leaders still struggle with basic principles.

1. Leadership is about empowering, encouraging, delegating, and accountability. If we do the work ourselves, there’s no need for others.

2. Human capital is our greatest asset. Disengaged employees impact our bottom line and chase our customers away. There are three checkpoints people must have to perform at their best: meaning, willingness, and ability.

3. Praise is often limited or misaligned. Everyone needs to feel valued and appreciated. Giving praise should be immediate, specific, genuine, and ongoing.

4. Budgeting time is a challenging feat. With more people working remotely, productivity management is more important than time management. Identify the behaviors that lead to productivity.

5. Lead by example. How are others referencing and reflecting you? Exemplary leadership is how values are born and behaviors formed.

6. Never take your role for granted. Understand your purpose. Believe in your mission. Become a better leader. Help others reach their full potential.

Exaggerated Beliefs

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Throughout our lives, we are encouraged to love ourselves, to understand our worth, to be more confident, etc. At what point does this turn into overestimating our capabilities in certain areas? 

Many people would describe themselves as above average in intelligence, driving, and a variety of other skills. This level of confidence could be beneficial when we need a boost to get through our day. But, what and who, are we using as our measuring stick to come up with these exaggerated beliefs? It can be challenging judging our competence when there is not a set standard or definition.

Imagine going on a job interview. Most likely, you’re going to say you have what it takes to get the job done. But, are you sure? Your level of performance will eventually be revealed.

Many people often believe that they are better at their jobs than their colleagues. Not only can this be annoying, but it can lead to disastrous results.

The opposite occurs for those with extensive knowledge. They assume that everyone else is knowledgeable too, and tend to underestimate their abilities.

We can compensate our self-perceptions by asking others for advice and constructive feedback, as well as training and educating ourselves in the areas where there are deficiencies.

Effective Feedback

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Effective feedback is a powerful tool. Think of the coach that pulls a player to the sidelines to give real-time feedback. The coach’s objective is to improve performance. The same goes for our team. Here are some ways to help your team welcome the feedback.

1. Ask permission. It makes a huge difference. E.g., “Can I share an observation with you?” Also, be mindful of when and where the feedback occurs.

2. Be specific. Use directly observed quotes and behaviors. E.g., “During our team meeting, you singled out Bob for not delivering the project on time. It was clear you were upset by the tone of your voice and body language. I recall you saying we can lose this account because you missed the deadline.”

3. Explain the impact. E.g., “When you get stressed, you show your frustration and talk angrily to the team. It can be demotivating.”

4. Wait and listen. What is the reaction? Be open-minded. There may be more to the story.

5. Suggest an alternative. Share a concrete behavior that could have a better impact. E.g., “Perhaps in this situation, you can take Bob aside and ask what happened, and how you can best support him and the team to prevent this from occurring in the future. We all make mistakes. The goal is to learn and grow from them.”

8 Stages of Change

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Change is inevitable. So is the resistance to it. Unless of course, you hit the lottery for millions of dollars – then it is welcomed with outstretched arms, and maybe a “hallelujah” or two. Wouldn’t it be great if employees accepted organizational change as readily? 

To quickly demonstrate change, cross your arms. Now cross your arms again, this time changing your arms in the opposite position. How does it feel? Most likely, uncomfortable. If you trained yourself to cross your arms opposite of what you are accustomed to, you could condition yourself to make a permanent change. Consider what happened when COVID-19 appeared. People and organizations across the globe had to adapt to change quickly.

Change is a constant at every organization. Unfortunately, you rarely hear all employees exclaiming that they’re excited to be a part of it. Now imagine during your monthly meeting, Project Manager Chris, energetically presents a new Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system. Chris explains the many benefits of the new system to only encounter apprehension.

  • Why do we need this new software?
  • The current system works just fine.
  • Impossible! Whose idea was this?

The Eight Stages of Change

Many managers can probably relate to this experience. To grasp why people are generally resistant to change, let us look at how it is handled based on its origin.

  •  As initiators of change, we are proactive in introducing change.
  • As discoverers of change, we are reactive to changes presented to us. 

In this scenario, the discoverers are reacting to a change initiated by Chris. As they adapt, they’ll be going through eight different stages of change:

  1. Denial: This cannot be possible.
  2. Anger: This will not work out.
  3. Nostalgia: Everything will be different.
  4. Fear: What will it be like in the future?
  5. Negotiation: What advantages are there? How can we adapt?
  6. Decision: I can live with it.
  7. Readjustment: I would do it this way.
  8. Commitment: It works well. I like it.

Please note that change management is subjective. Not everyone spends an equal amount of time in each stage, nor does it always happen in the same order.

Given that, managers need to understand the different stages of the change curve to help their teams navigate the various stages efficiently.

The Challenges of Managing Change Well

A manager’s success depends on the success of his/her team. Change management should offer benefits for everyone involved as well as the organization as a whole. As a manager, here’s how to lead a team through change.

  • Understand that each stage is part of the natural process of change acceptance and assimilation.
  • Let each team member advance through the different stages at his/her own pace and in his/her way.
  • Personalize your approach and adapt your behavior according to the different stages your team members are experiencing. Do not expect commitment from a team member who is still in the denial stage.
  • Avoid shortcuts. Do not encourage your team members to skip a stage. Someone who’s rushed through stages in the change process may find it more challenging to reach or complete the decision stage, and may ultimately revert a step (or more).

This last point is crucial because people are not always transparent about how they feel. We may assume that someone is in the commitment stage when he/she may still be in the fear or nostalgia stage. What may seem like a shortcut, in the beginning, can be costly in the long run.

Managing Change Well in the Decision Stage

The manager’s behavior during the decision stage is vital to managing change well. The decision stage is where he/she must balance his/her role as a participative manager and an executive manager.

When balancing these management styles, managers should ask themselves:

What risks are there for the team (and the company) if I’m not sufficiently assertive in the decision stage?

  • What stage will my team member revert to if I don’t manage the change process well?
  • What can I request from him/her?
  • Who makes the final decision?
  • What’s causing him/her to stall?

Sometimes the manager is also the discoverer of change and has to balance this situation by creating the right conditions for the team to accept and assimilate change in the best way possible.

Helping team members reach the decision stage and guiding them beyond it isn’t enough. Managers also have to be assertive. Otherwise, you risk team members:

  • Entering an endless loop of bouncing back and forth between stages without arriving at the decision stage. Doing so may be harmful to them and the organization.
  • Understanding that the decision to accept change lies with them. As a manager, you’re responsible for maintaining the balance of management and creating the optimal conditions for this acceptance.
  • Hindering the team’s progress. If a manager allows team members to stall, they will spend months jumping from stage to stage and may even sabotage – albeit unintentionally – the team’s efforts and progress. Watch out for those with a yes, but… attitude and those who fixate on the tiniest of issues. Through a desire to avoid confrontation, unassertive managers may unwittingly make an undesirable, negative impact.
  • Causing conflicts. This endless loop will inevitably lead them to be conflictive – with themselves, with the company, and perhaps even with their families due to a lack of control over the new reality. Their unacceptance will cause them to yearn for the old.

Leading Change from Within as an Exemplary Manager

Here’s another scenario.

Phil is a manager who has to inform his team about the Board’s decision to change the order control system. Here’s how he delivers the news:

The Board has decided to change the order control system. It seems pointless, but I have to implement it, so here we are.

This attitude isn’t uncommon from managers when addressing changes in the company – especially changes that weren’t initiated by them.

Managers are responsible for relaying messages of change. In doing so, not only are they discoverers of change, but they must also establish the right conditions for their teams to accept and digest this change as efficiently as possible.

Phil’s attitude is counter-productive, unmotivating, and not one of an exemplary manager. How can Phil expect his team to accept the change when he has vocalized his reluctance?

Managers are the first to experience the stages of change. As an exemplary manager, you must be comfortable in the commitment stage before informing your team of the change and guiding them through the process.

In other words, accept and guide change over yourself before exercising it over others.

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 Any fool can make something complex. It takes skill to make things simple.

💡 Everyone has power. Many often let it go to waste.

💡 What happens to them if they listen to you?

💡 Getting to the next level may be about subtraction, not addition.

💡 Sometimes, the best advice is advice you don’t think you need.

💡 A person with priorities does what matters. A person without priorities does what is urgent.

💡 Things won’t change until you change.

💡 Want to help yourself? Help others.

💡 Want to make money? Give value.

💡 Want to find an idea? Look for a problem.

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 Your greatest strength is your weakness.

💡 Arguing, debating, and pressuring, rarely produces desired outcomes.

💡 Who does what by when = progress.

💡 Being a leader of people requires a mindset shift.

💡 Sometimes dramatic change requires connections with new people.

💡 Every leader does not have a title. Every person with a title is not a leader.

💡 Angry people are transparent people.

💡 Business always throws us curveballs.

💡 Learn when to say no and let go.

💡 Waiting never gets the job done.

The Story I’m Telling Myself

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There is a magic sentence resilient people have in common: “It’s the story I’m telling myself.” 

When something challenging happens to us, our brain, which is wired to protect us above all else, wants a story.

It understands story and narrative pattern and it says, “Give me a story so I can understand how to protect you.” And so….we make up these stories in our minds.

How can we be loved if we can’t let ourselves be seen (vulnerability).

We want it so bad, but we are so afraid to let ourselves be seen, and we’re so afraid to see people.

Vulnerability brings love, belonging, and joy.

The opposite of belonging is fitting in (acclimating). True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are.

Joy is the most vulnerable of all human emotions. We are so afraid that if we feel joy, something will come along and rip it away from us, and we will get sucker punched by pain, trauma, and loss. So in the midst of great things, we dress rehearse great tragedy.

Some people use vulnerability as a warning to start dress-rehearsing for bad things. Some of us use it as a reminder to be grateful.

Gratitude is the differentiator for joy. Which one will you choose?

Adapted from Brene Brown.
Graphic: raminnazer

Behaviors

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Looking over your professional life, whose names come to mind, matching these behaviors? 

1. The bully who believes fear is the best motivator, and seek to intimidate to assert control.

2. The absentee boss who stays holed up in their office, studying reports, and focusing solely on sucking up to their boss – leaving the team leaderless.

3. The divider who shows favoritism and typically doesn’t care who knows it. If a conflict arises, they may try to play one person against another, causing further disruption.

4. The micromanager who is always observing and controlling the work of the team.

5. The arrogant know-it-all who thinks they are the only ones who can handle the demands of the workplace or solve problems.

6. The poor communicator who has an over-reliance on emails or known for emotional outbursts.

7. The indecisive one who is unable or unwilling to decide on critical matters.

8. The disorganized one who tend to forget meetings or frequently show up late.

9. The complacent one who believes no news is good news.

10. The resister who refuses to change.

11. The rule bender who fails to lead by example and exhibits questionable behavior.

12. The poor performer who never recognizes the contributions of others or takes credit for their work.

Five Generation Workplace

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With five generations in the workplace, management models that worked for one generation will have to be adapted to support the motivations and drivers of newer generations.

Challenging the statusquo can be scary because it often requires courage and a willingness to go against the grain. There’s also the possibility of receiving backlash from those who are less open to new ideas.

Rather than wondering if a challenge should be made, think about the person receiving the information and present it in a way that can be heard, understood, and valued. Here are some ideas:

1. Use the receiver’s language and tactics. If they like data, metaphors, etc., use them.

2. Think about the counter-response. Given what you know, how do you think they’ll react? Prepare for it.

3. Toughen up. Don’t let raised voices or criticism deter you. Acknowledge the person and reflect at a later time.

4. Talk to your colleagues. They can play devil’s advocate and provide alternative ideas based on their experience.

5. Play the odds. Timing is not always perfect. Think of when you can revisit the topic.

6. Accept your position. You may not be the most powerful person in the room, which is more reason to speak up.

7. Have a backup plan. Speaking up is a risk. Have a Plan B.

Adapted: jonidaniels

Habit Change

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Our brains are hardwired to resist change because change can be difficult. Habits, routines, and learned behaviors make adjusting difficult at the individual level, and hard, if not impossible, at the organizational level.

Many organizations are bogged down by complacency and a lack of awareness of how to change. While change starts with individuals, the companies they work for also need to change to survive. People want to be aligned with purposeful organizations that are collaborative and inclusive, as well as socially and environmentally responsible.

Whether change takes the shape of a new system or process, or a complete overhaul of the way things function at the core level, driving lasting change is easier said than done.

Nearly half of our daily activities are habitual. We don’t think about them, yet we subconsciously do them. For example, waking up and instinctively grabbing our phone to check our email or social media. Think back across the last hour. What have you been doing? What part is habitual?

Understanding the components of habits (trigger, action, reward) helps us understand why behaviors emerge, what reinforces them, and how we can unlearn or replace them.

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 If you want to find out what someone thinks, stop telling them what you think first.

💡 Values aren’t negotiable.

💡 Acknowledge good points made by the other side.

💡 Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal communication.

💡 Tell the truth, tell it yourself, and tell it fast.

💡 Be mindful of your digital footprint.

💡 Owning your mistakes strengthens relationships and builds confidence.

💡 What have you done recently to initiate change?

💡 Bad moods produce self-defeating behaviors.

💡 Know the way, go the way, show the way.

Perspective

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I was listening to a podcast by John C. Maxwell where he explained how our perspective of things could change the events of our day. He gave an example of people with road rage. 

If you’ve ever experienced road rage, it is not uncommon to see someone give the middle finger as an expression of their anger. John said he views it as people showing him that they are his number one fan.

We have a choice of how we respond to the events of our day. E.g., I stopped at a grocery store one morning to buy some coffee creamer. The creamer was on a high shelf that I had to tiptoe to reach. When I pulled the creamer off the shelf, white liquid spilled all over my clothes and purse. I guess this was someone’s idea of a practical joke, but there were no TV cameras involved.

At that precise moment, I had to determine if I was going to rant and rave to anyone within earshot, or calmly wipe myself off before alerting a store clerk as to what happened. As challenging as it was, I went with option two because I’ve learned that reacting in anger, only manifests something else to be angry about, which can show up in the form of road rage as I’m leaving the store.

The point of the story is that we can’t control why people do what they do, but we can control our response to it.

Nice Guys Finish Last

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There is a saying that nice guys finish last. As it pertains to business, you may picture this individual as someone who is a people pleaser, can be taken advantage of, not aggressive enough, or may never reach significant levels of success. 

While there may be a grain of truth for some, there are lots of ways to be successful in business without being aggressive. Whether we care to admit, we stereotype people to some extent and tend to put people in boxes. Being nice doesn’t mean one cannot say no, be assertive, or make tough decisions. Moreover, not all nice people aspire to climb the corporate ladder.

Let’s be honest, if you had to choose between two individuals with equivalent talent and skills to work with on a project, would you choose the nice guy or the jerk?

In most organizations, success comes down to teamwork. Teamwork requires effective collaboration and cultivating relationships. A jerk’s behavior may work in the short-term, but in the long-term, they end up damaging the team and given enough time, the company.

If someone tells you to have a nice day, does an image of a jerk pop up in your mind? Probably, not. Niceness is a quality that shouldn’t be overlooked or undervalued.

Multipliers and Diminishers

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Talent problems are not solved by swapping in “better” talent at higher salaries. Many top performers are often sitting on a stockpile of ideas, skills, and interests. Part of being a leader is to help people identify and tap into their purpose and value. 

There are two extremes of leaders: Multipliers and Diminishers.

Multipliers believe that everyone is brilliant at something. When they step into a room, ideas flow and problems get solved. They also:

  • Create engaged workforces and unleash collective intelligence.
  • Pay little attention to org charts and see themselves as coaches and teachers.
  • Acknowledge people’s “native genius”.
  • Assume that people are smart and will figure it out, given resources and space.

    Diminishers can be tyrants, know-it-alls, or micromanagers. They believe that high levels of brainpower cannot be found everywhere and in everyone. They often:
  • Create cultural and behavioral barriers.
  • Roll out initiatives revolving around what the leader knows rather than what the group might learn.
  • Make decisions alone or with input from a small group of advisers.
  • Need to be the smartest, most capable person in the room.

Adapted: Harvard Business Review | Managing Yourself: Bringing Out the Best in Your People

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 Lead with conviction. Respect is more important than always being liked.

💡 Getting out of your perspective is the key to seeing things.

💡 Make inspiring confidence in your team a priority.

💡 When you see team members praising each other, you know your team will be successful.

💡 How you think is everything.

💡 Is your will stronger than your skill?

💡 Lack of forgiveness always impacts you more than others.

💡 Forget the excuses and take action.

💡 Appreciate the differences, and your team will be more creative and productive.

💡 Think of happiness as a way to travel, not as a goal to be reached.

Failing Organizational Change

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Why Organizational Change Fails – TLNT

Many factors cause organizational change efforts to fail. Here are the top 10 reasons.

1. Asking for Behavior X while rewarding Behavior Y. Align systems and work processes with desired #behaviors.

2. Overplanning. Analysis + paralysis = inaction.

3. Going for the home run. Focus on small, quick wins to build momentum for larger, long-term victories.

4. Uninformed and disengaged team. Early and ongoing communication helps teams make more intelligent decisions and feel more ownership.

5. The devil is in the details. Don’t keep discussions at a conceptual, strategic level. Once you are clear on your plan, execution is about details.

6. Change is good. Be the leader, go first!

7. Sustained #change is driven by people. E.g., Implementing new software is more about the people who will use it, install it, train it, and support it than it is about the system itself.

8. Lack of compelling reason to change. The best plan must be accompanied by a great story to support it.

9. Energy and resources spent on the resistors of change. Support your supporters and let the others choose to follow.

10. Changing everything rather than what needs to be changed to meet new business objectives. Identify what you should start, stop, and keep, then plan changes accordingly.

Source: The L Group

Food For Thought Friday

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💡 Focus on making it part of the culture.

💡 If you put forth the effort, help always appears.

💡 Is coaching an integral part of your leadership style?

💡 Schedule time on your calendar weekly to understand what’s on your plate and where your focus should be.

💡 What do your actions speak?

💡 Observe the number of “I’s” and “We’s” in team conversations.

💡 Look for people who love what they do.

💡 Think “people” first, always.

💡 Get comfortable making decisions.

💡 Focus the team on the outcome, not just the activities.

Better Message, Bolder Mindset

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Getting others to accept our feedback can prove challenging, especially when it’s critical. Managers often worry that their feedback may lead to hurt feelings or diminished productivity, so they resort to face-saving techniques like the “praise sandwich” that end up doing more harm than good. 

This dynamic can change with a better message and a bolder mindset. Feeback should involve asking hero questions, diagnosing challenges, and shaping a path towards commitment. The following are some examples.

Hero Questions:
~ What have you learned about yourself from working on this project?
~ What strengths have you found most useful on this project?
~ Who have you recently helped, and what difference did it make in their work and yours?

Diagnose Challenges:
~ What outcome are you trying to achieve?
~ What is happening? Why do you think it’s happening?
~ What have you tried so far? How have you handled similar challenges in the past?
~ Have you tried to resolve this challenge? What happened as a result?

Shape the Path:
~ How do you think you’ll act on this?
~ What is holding you back from achieving your goals?
~ What would happen if you tried this?
~ How can I help you recreate the conditions of your success?

Adapted: Harvard Business Review

Psychopath’s At Work

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When we hear the word psychopath, a serial killer or mob boss may immediately come to mind. However, many psychopaths do not commit heinous crimes or exhibit criminal behavior. Here are 4 indications of a psychopath at work. 

1. They appear to be responsible, charismatic, friendly, and a hard worker. They have an impressive resume and can talk whatever talk is needed to get the job, excel at the job, and get promoted.

2. They appear to work well within a team environment, but often take advantage of their peers. Their work is frequently at the expense of others and not a result of their efforts. Back-stabbing, gossip, and manipulation are common tactics used to undermine authority, gain dominance, and eliminate competition.

3. They want to gain power and control with the least amount of effort. They present their better side to superiors to gain trust and confidence. They have a magnetic personality, and they can quickly transform themselves to fit into any environment.

4. They present a darker side to their peers. They are often caught stealing new ideas, destabilizing the team atmosphere, and refusing to complete assignments. If someone complains, they’ll become defensive and lash out, sometimes causing that person to get fired.

Adapted: Psych Central