I came across an article this weekend that touched on facing today’s fears, living today’s dreams, creating new stories, and understanding ourselves. The lessons that follow help to move us to those ends.
1. If you want to change the world, you have to fall in love with what already is. The same goes for changing yourself.
2. Listen to your doubts. They not only teach you of your fears but also your wisdom.
3. It’s okay to claim all is well amid doubt and confusion and to be happy despite challenges.
4. Your feelings are your choice. What manifests after may not be. Choose wisely.
5. What you say does not determine your honesty, but why you say it.
6. Never decide until you have to.
7. Take full responsibility for your life and never forget to have fun.
8. Always see work as play and play as important. Soon you won’t know the difference between the two.
9. The trick to being in the right place at the right time is knowing you already are.
10. The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living them at once, however humbly, to any degree you can.
Have you ever tried to talk to someone who was in a hurry, multi-tasking, or dealing with other background distractions?
Have you ever engaged in a conversation and wondered whether the person was listening to you or if it was worthwhile to continue speaking?
How did that make you feel?
We can express a real interest in others by:
✰ Having a welcoming posture
✰ Making eye contact
✰ Giving yes signals (nodding)
✰ Taking notes
✰ Asking follow-up questions
If time or other commitments are a factor, acknowledge your interest in speaking to the individual and establish a time when you can give your undivided attention. Wouldn’t you want the same for yourself?
Our core qualities are effortless. It’s partly nature and nurture. They color what we see, how we behave, our interactions, etc. If we can express these core qualities in our work and daily life, we probably feel good. In actuality, it may be difficult not to exude these qualities.
What comes along with our core qualities? Consequences.
⚠ The first consequence is our pitfall. Too much of something good can have an adverse effect. If determination is our core quality, pushiness may be our pitfall.
⚠ The second is our challenge. Not being pushy requires patience. Interestingly, we often look for our challenge outside of ourselves (E.g., A patient partner).
⚠ The third is too much of our challenge becomes our allergy. Some people are so incredibly patient it may come across as passiveness. Determined people are allergic to passiveness.
The Core Quadrant can help us understand our idiosyncrasies.
For example, if your child or mate is your challenge, the consequence is that they are also your allergy.
Being able to identify and look beyond what unnerves us helps us see the beauty and value of others.
In business, you may talk about your role (I’m a consultant). In life, you may talk about your role (I’m a mother).
Quick exercise: Describe yourself with a one-word adjective that starts with the same sound of your first name. I’ll go first, Radiant Ramona.
Now, the image we see of ourselves is not always the image the rest of the world sees.
Understanding how we are wired and the impact it has on other people requires operating from a conscious level. Too often, we navigate life on a subconscious level, making assumptions without getting to know the otherness of the other.
We have millions of patterns in our subconscious brain that determine how we interact with others. If we don’t challenge them through consciousness, things happen to us. We think we have no control over it, but we do.
We can have a new thought, at any time, about anything in our lives that we would like to be different. It starts with knowing you, knowing others, and understanding how to adapt and connect.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung
Many people feel they will be judged or face consequences if they say something that goes against popular opinion.
So they offer up something politically correct or adopt a code of silence.
👉 How does this play out in the workplace?
Imagine having a manager who notoriously assigns pressure-filled deadlines. Team members are stressed but are hesitant to speak up because the manager’s philosophy is those who cannot handle the pressure don’t belong in the role. Silence makes the situation worse. Team members feel powerless, and complaining becomes commonplace.
When we don’t speak up, it can give the appearance of approval.
There are certainly times when we should be silent, but other times when we need to get out of our comfort zones and say something.