There is a magic sentence resilient people have in common: “It’s the story I’m telling myself.”
When something challenging happens to us, our brain, which is wired to protect us above all else, wants a story.
It understands story and narrative pattern and it says, “Give me a story so I can understand how to protect you.” And so….we make up these stories in our minds.
How can we be loved if we can’t let ourselves be seen (vulnerability).
We want it so bad, but we are so afraid to let ourselves be seen, and we’re so afraid to see people.
Vulnerability brings love, belonging, and joy.
The opposite of belonging is fitting in (acclimating). True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are.
Joy is the most vulnerable of all human emotions. We are so afraid that if we feel joy, something will come along and rip it away from us, and we will get sucker punched by pain, trauma, and loss. So in the midst of great things, we dress rehearse great tragedy.
Some people use vulnerability as a warning to start dress-rehearsing for bad things. Some of us use it as a reminder to be grateful.
Gratitude is the differentiator for joy. Which one will you choose?
Adapted from Brene Brown.
Graphic: raminnazer